The Truth About Wanting to Die

“I was shocked when I surfaced at how much time had passed. I’ve no recollection of the hours on dialysis. Just the lasting image of a churning strawberry-red slushy machine, which is how my dad described the life-saving contraption days later. But my text messages and call history betray me: I’d offered, in a near blackout state, to rush out and report on a story that, mercifully, was taken on by someone else. When I asked about this later, the coworker who had called said I had just sounded groggy. No kidding.”

Anna Mehler Paperny – The Walrus – August 2019